单选题：Toxt 7All couples have problems and disagreements, so it's c

Toxt 7
All couples have problems and disagreements, so it's critical that they learn how tocommunicate about them in a way that will be helpful instead of making them worse. I do notbelieve that prescribing specific techniques for communicating is as helpful as focusing on the coreattitudes behind the communication. My thoughts on effectively communicating about ANY difficultissue are in keeping with the ideas I used in the"assertiveness training" I did back in the 70s.What I learned was that I could tell people the"correct" words to use and"correct" bodylanguage, etc. to be "assertive" -- but none of it worked unless it came fro"inside" the person.
In other words, your ability to communicate has more to do with your attitudes and beliefsabout your "right to know" and the degree of "equality" in the relationship (or lack thereof) andthe degree of"caring" involved between the two people than in whatever actual words ortechniques you use. All these things are FAR more important than the "skills". You can't just "puton the skills like a coat" and have them work. As I said, the words need to come as an outgrowthof an attitude of genuinely wanting to effectively work on whatever problem is beingdiscussed.
Another similarity between learning how to effectively discuss a problem and how people learnto talk in an assertive manner is that even if you say everything "just right" (in accordance with theguidelines for using good communication skills), there is no guarantee that the other person willreceive it in the way it is intended. For instance, with assertiveness, someone couldperfectlyexecute an "assertive" conversation and still have it be interpreted as being"aggressive".
One way of determining the specific words that are more likely to be effective is to think interms of the"ego states" as defined by transactional analysis:" parent, adult, and child". You'llhave more likelihood of success by approaching the discussion from an"adult", problem-solvingway of talking, while avoiding using the "judgmental" words of a "parent" or the "hurt feelings"words of a"child". The bottom line is that you don't need specific communication skills so muchas you need to approach any conversation with a certain attitude: that the clear goal is to "improvethe relationship" rather than to just "criticize" and / or "change" the other person. With that spirit,you have a better chance of success; without it, all the communication skills in the world won't beenough.
According to the author, "assertiveness"__________. A．refers to specific techniques for communicating
B．means "using the language correctly and moving the body gracefully"
C．makes the problems and disagreements between couples even worse
D．does not work if it does not come as an outgrowth of a genuine attitude